Lost in Love!!!!!!

Is it me ? I ask myself this question over and over til my head hurts sometimes. I'm so in love with this man it hurts. Have you ever loved somebody so much it made you cry ? Or needed something so bad you can't sleep at night ? I got it bad. As much as I want to let him go I CAN'T.....I've prayed and pleaded with GOD to take this out of my heart and soul but it's there as if it's meant to be there. When I hear this man's name even his voice makes me smile. I feel good all over when I'm in his presence. When I first met him I'd never thought 'd feel this way. I wanna grow with him, I want to do what lovers do. I want to be spiritually bound with him. I want to be his everything and him mine. 've dreamt of standing at the altar face to face with him, telling him and the world how I feel and have felt for a long time. I've dreamt of being in a home wih him, waking up to him and going to sleep with him knowing that he loves me for me. We've been through alot but it's done nothing but made me love him even more. He's always on my mind. It hurts though, cause he doesn't feel the same way about me. It amazing how someone can have that much power over your emotions. I pray to GOD to send me someone who's right for me. Maybe its not my time to be in love or to be loved. Im guessing there's more work to do with myself. Until my dreams come true I will stay patient and FAITHFUL to my dreams. Lord God bless me with him forever in love. Keep me and guide me to a blessed and successful life with him. AMEN

Let it go......

When you feel like you've given all you can and there's nothing given in return.....Let it go. If you would die for this person but feel like they could care less if you lived......Let it go. If you let your world revolve around this person but you're not even in their world.....Let it go. LOVE is mysterious and sometimes confusing. If You tend to misunderstand what love is, let me break it down in my version. To me loving someone means making them a priority not an option. Loving this person with no conditions. Accepting all faults and flaws whether past or present. Putting effort into working out differences. Agree to disagree. Being faithful, speaking what's on your mind even if may hurt the other's feelings. Being up front and honest about who you are and what you want. Growing together financially, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. A bond that can't be broken. I would love to have that one day with that special someone. I'm not rushing it cause I know I have alot personal growing to do. What does it mean to you ?

"Friends, How many of us have them ?"

"FRIENDS" What does that word mean to you? Well to me friends are people who are there for you and you are there for them thru thick and thin. Friends dont judge, belittle, or betray. Females in general don't really hang with a gang of chicks because of those reasons. Sometimes its so bad that you can't even be around family because of those reasons. You can't chose your family but you can choose not to be around them. Most may create your own family with the people you meet throughout the years. I have met total strangers years ago and they are still in my life to this day. I do not have an older brother but now I have two. I met them 5 yrs ago and I love them like my real brothers. Just an example. But I have two best friends. I have one that I grew up with and we were tighter than a frogs ass. But I moved away and thats when our close friendship started to fade. We're not beefing or anything like that its just that we weren't involved in each other's lives which kept us close. I love her to death still to this day but our lives just went separate ways. I have a best friend now who is my muthafuckin dawg......I love her to death. She is a true friend and I wouldnt trade her for the world. There have been times I have been at my lowest and if no one was there, she was there to tell me to get the fuck up, dust it off and try again, I'm here for you girl don't worry. You never choose a dude over your friends well true friends. When that dude has come and gone your true friends will still be there. Them other hoes may be with your dude. Ya dig? Always be real and upfront with everything. I have learned that recently from a dude that has come and gone but thanks for that. Sometimes you wanna just let the past be the past and spare feelings that may be on the surface. That's all I was trying to do. But anyway....My bff is still here. Those kind of people are rare and if you have one you better hang on to them. My bff and I have been friends for 8yrs and never had an argument. We obey the rules of a true friendship. Probably everything I'm sayin you already know but I don't give a damn......these are my thoughts today.

Thoughts of a Real Woman with Real Issues........

Okay ......I'm still on the emotional Love rollercoaster so I'm gonna talk about my thoughts about it until I get through it or over it. Which ever happens first. Now, why do we have to have emotions and hearts ? What's the purpose if they are gonna get hurt, broken, handed back to you, etc...., you know what I'm talking about. I know a couple who were faced with very very bad obstacles and they survived them together. Not saying that everyone is the same but they truly love one another. Their love was tested and they passed . I've witnessed alot of it growing up. I always dreamed to have a love that would survive anything and everything. People have reasons for doing things , sometimes the things they do may not be right but there is always a reason. Why are there people out there who don't believe in giving chances ? Not too many but the chance to change or make things right. There are definitely some no nonsense people in the world. By that being said......people like that are always yearning for "PERFECT" when there is no such thing. Oh I have definitely made more than my share of mistakes in my life and I know I'm gonna make more. That's what life is .........LIVE, LOVE,LAUGH,and FORGIVE......GOD says Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.1 Peter 4:8. I may be a hopeless romantic or whatever you wanna call it but I have always believed that love conquers all. There are things that can be forgiven and there are some that cannot in some people's eyes. But in GOD's eyes all is forgiven. Now the couple I spoke of in the beginning of this faced the unthinkable and in some eyes, the unforgivable. The forgiveness they have given eachother builds foundation and made their love for one another stronger than ever and no one can break that no matter what the obstacle may be. LOVE is beautiful and I want it with a specific person but to him I am unworthy of being forgiven ......Is it cause I was created human and not perfect ? I wonder why we can't get past this cause LOVE is strong and shall not be judged..........

"LOVE" WTF does it mean in 2009 ?

Okay this is something that really bothers me. Is there anyone out there who really, and truly know what LOVE really is ? I don't......there are times when I thought I did or maybe I was in LOVE with the idea of it. Hmmmm! Makes ya think don't it ? I have learned that people have different definitions of LOVE. There's " I LOVE you but I'm cheating on you", then there's " I LOVE you but I'm keeping secrets from you, there's also " I LOVE you but we are miles away", what about " I LOVE you but I don't trust you" oh and my favorite is " I LOVE you but I cant forgive you for your past mistakes" I always thought LOVE was an unconditional emotion that you cant control. Honesty, forgiveness, hard work, trust, GOD, faithfulness, and I'm sure there's more but like I said earlier I don't know fully cause I haven't really experienced it so I'm bound to mess up until I get it right. I'm not perfect but I am human so these are lessons I'm learning until I pass the text to get to the next level. LOVE is funny to me cause I have given my heart too soon and end up hurt cause of a mistake I made but was never forgiven for it, I feel like if I didn't cheat....it can be worked out especially if you say you LOVE me too. RIGHT ? But I heard from my old time favorite rapper DMX lol " If you love something, let it go. If it come back to you it's yours" I just hope its not too late..........

Crying out for help.......

What makes a lonely woman roam ? When you're alone and have no one to call your own , you roam, in search of companionship, even if its for a brief moment with no promises of love and marriage. But you are totally satisfied for that moment of lust or maybe just the touch from the opposite sex. Women love to feel wanted and needed. Some women have children for similar reasons, unconditional love is what they crave and they get from that brief moment of lust from the opposite sex. Ladies, Ladies Ladies.......some of you reading this can honestly relate or at least understand where I'm coming from. It's nothing wrong with wanting to be loved and needed. But you must start with yourself first. Self love and a spiritual connection with GOD is the first step. I have been that roaming lonely woman who never felt worthy of being loved by the opposite sex. I'd put MAN before GOD and that's not the way it goes. Once my eyes were open to that, I realized the reason for my unsuccessful relationships. I wasnt ready for that chapter in my life whereas I thought I was. Life without the grace of GOD isnt worth living because blessings that were meant for you will pass you by. If you are experiencing this battle in your life ......Love GOD and yourself first before you can love a MAN.